Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock. Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too—big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck.
Riding in Cars with Boys and Blowing Them: True Stories of Road Head
Two Boys: A Love Story
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Oscar Wilde and Lord Alfred Douglas, He once wrote of himself, "I, like wax of the sacred bees when smitten by the sun, am melted when I look at the young limbs of boys. According to one ancient source, Bagoas "had been loved by Darius and was afterwards to be loved by Alexander. When Antinous died by drowning at the age of 21, Hadrian was grief-stricken. He had the dead boy deified, founded a city in Egypt to honor him, erected statues in honor of him through-out the empire, and commissioned sculptures, paintings and coins to be made bearing his likeness.
Illustration by Katherine Killeffer. Except for a Cornell Daily Sun article from last year, there are relatively few accounts of road head on the Internet. The practice, especially in areas where you have to drive to get pretty much anywhere, like the Midwest and California, is not necessarily a rite of passage, but it does inspire stories: While a routine blowjob is nothing to write home about, a blowjob in a moving vehicle could kill you. That's part of the appeal: Not only could you get caught, but you could also crash and die. It might be less dangerous than texting and driving, but it all depends on how he can handle his head.